Tag Archives: realization

Unfolding the hidden page of the heart!! (Part One)

A faint smile came over her face as she breathed in the cool winter breeze and observes the room…. Music filled the room accompanied by the rhythmic sounds of a joyful laughter of those familiar figures which she has known for the past two and a half years. Among them, few had been friends since the beginning of her college life, occupying a special place in her life and few, she had just come across recently.

She had been a little hesitant to attend this party for the fact that hardly any girl was attending it. Except for her and one of her classmates, all her female friends had stayed back in the hostel with the “I am not well acquainted with anyone out there” reason.  She couldn’t stay back because of one particular reason and she was glad that she came. She was having a wonderful time with her friends.

“Cara sis, why don’t you fill this up as a token of remembrance for me?” Joey handed over a cute slam book to her. She couldn’t help smiling at the thought of a guy possessing a slam book. Well, she personally thinks it’s a girl thing. In fact, she had her last slam book when she was in middle school, now she had replaced it for a diary.

“Yeah, I’d love to do that bro.” she gave him a warm smile and took the book from him. Joey was her classmate and her brother by heart though not blood. He had asked her to be his official sister in the first year of college by tying a rakhi on his wrist. It was one of the rituals followed by few Indians where a sister ties a beautifully decorated wrist band (called rakhi) on her brother’s wrist and prays for his long life and the guy gives his sister a gift as a token of his love.

Even if she was not accustomed to such tradition, she did it for Joey as he had asked her so sweetly and sincerely that she couldn’t deny him.

They had already eaten their meals and there was plenty of time for her to get back to the hostel. Caramia seated herself on the stairs leading to the terrace, a little away from the crowd and started filling in her details. She came across one line “define friendship” which took her far away into her little shell of thoughts….  She has lots of friends who care about her, who makes her smile and who shares wonderful moments with her. What she was lacking was “love”, a true love of a man. She had walked down some crazy paths in life  in hopes of finding that love but it had cost her nothing but a broken heart full of pain and uncountable sleepless nights .

The biggest fear was, “what if I never find it? What if I never meet anyone who would love me the way I have always dreamt of since I was a little girl? What if end up looking for it my whole life when all my friends are walking down the aisle with their soul mates?  What if-”

“Hey there, fatso!” A startled Cara being pulled out of her thoughts back to reality looked up and saw Steve walking towards her. Steven….. the reason for her being present in the party today!!

She smiled at him, brushing all her thoughts away, and suddenly her heart feeling relaxed….

“Hey! I’m not fat! There are many girls who are way fatter than me!” she pouted for awhile then patted on the space beside her gesturing him to join her.

Well, Caramia isn’t such a fat girl. It’s just that she has gained few extra pounds. Steve  calls her by that name deliberately for he knows she doesn’t like it and whatever she dislikes is his likes…. They are just so opposite in nature yet they still manage to be “best friends”.

“What is it in your hand?” he enquired as he sat beside her and tries to peep and read what she was writing.

“It’s Joey’s slam book, he has asked me to write in it. Interested in giving your autograph, Mr. Steven the Great?”  She teased him as she stretched out her hand and rubbed off some dirt from his cheek.

He just smiled, moved closer to her and simply put his arm across her waist and started reading her page. She smiled at him and continued to write.

After a few moment of silence, he suddenly blurted out his heart, “I don’t know what am I suppose to do without you here. I will be so lonely.”

One glance at his face made her smile for his face wore a worried look and he appeared so adorable.

“Awww…. Come one, now you don’t gimme that. You will do fine without me you have all your friends with you here.  In fact, since I won’t be around, you will have more time to enjoy the last days of your college life with your friends.  No Cara to bother you with her boring problems” she said teasing around by playing with his neatly styled hair.

It was true that Cara had always come up with problems to Steve due to the fact that he had been her sole confidant over these past months. There had been many friends who cared but it was Steve who really cared to search for her and find out if everything is going well with her or not, when she had almost screwed off her life and was drowning in the ocean of trouble and guiltiness as a consequence of her silly mistakes. He had always kept her close to himself not letting her detach herself from friends and live alone by herself.

He held her more tightly and placed his face on the breach between her neck and shoulder.  His breathing got heavier and Cara realized that he was into a really serious talk with her. He whispered out breathing against her skin, “It’s about you Cara, you are different to me. I know my friends will be there but you will be missing in my life. I will miss you so terribly.”

It’s true that Cara will miss him too and the fact is that she has no idea how she will survive alone in a new city without a best friend like Steve. But it was time that she learns how to be on her own, being independent, bold and take big decisions all by herself.

“I will miss you too Steve. I will miss you every moment. But I have to take up this opportunity right… I need to go for my 2 months internship and then take up the job.” She had never planned to take up a job so soon. In fact, she had a plan to continue her 2 year master’s degree and go back home to her family and take up a job which pays her well. But out of the blue, her luck got her through the on the job training in one of the Multi National company where she will have the privilege to many lifetime experiences. She needs to re-evaluate her original plan which included the Masters Degree and moving back to her hometown.

“But I assure you that we will meet up often. I am just 3 hours drive away from you. You can visit me sometimes and I can too. I can also come to meet you the day you finish college.”

She meant what she said. She would come over to meet him in between as he would be graduating few months before her. She had this fear lingering in her heart whenever she thinks about the last day of his college. It meant they will all leave the college permanently, depart from each other moving on with their new lives and she doesn’t know if she would see him again in her life. He has this plan to go to Europe for his Masters degree. Evidently, his memories of her will dissolve away amongst his new surrounding and new schedule. She hoped that he would remember her at some point of life.

There was this strange silence between them for a while until Cara felt Steven hold her more tightly, his breathing getting heavier against her cheek. She then felt his lips slightly brushing the corner of her lips sending this mixed feeling through her veins. Her heart made a little jump, she felt a lump in her throat, her stomach felt sick, her breathing became faster and she started trembling as she shut her eyes tight trying to get rid of the realization of what was going to happen next.

Steve was the last person on earth she would make out with and screw up the beautiful bond they share. He was too important to her that she couldn’t afford to lose him. But deep down her heart she wanted to feel the love he would give her, to feel his caress. It just felt so good being beside him…. So safe and protected being in his arms.

Much to her relief, he withdrew a little just to bury his face again on the breach of her shoulder and neck. He whispered, “I don’t know what I had been doing with my life all these years. I was busy enjoying life I guess. Then you came along……… Now something has happened, it happened. I don’t how, I don’t know why….” He paused for a moment. Cara has no idea what was going on in his mind at the moment, but her instinct told her that his next words were surely gonna change things between them forever.

“I don’t know about you Cara but I love you!!” so true to her instincts, he finally let it out….

 

 

To Be Continued…… :)563+